This is a song about a salesman who gets free rein over a company. Marcello Benetti: percussion, Danny Acosta: guitar.
Lyrics
My name is Bernie Berman
I am a salesman
But please, please just think of me as your best friend
I work on commission
It’s a missionary position
I stay on top of what I have to say to make you spend
I may be smooth and smarmy
Got cool closing skills
But my company needs me to pay the bills
It’s the artful con
It’s the bad kind of beautiful
Call it what you want, I call it business as usual
The marketing department
Is polishing a turd
The most excellent of excrement
You have my word
It’s the truth, the half truth,
and something but the truth
I’ve got a pair of three-legged pants
For the price of two
I’m the friendly fraud
Insincerely inscrutable
Call it what you want, I call it business as usual
We’ve got customer service
Mopping up my messes
‘Cause I make a lot of promises
That are really only guesses
I got a guy who’s coming back for this at 5
So you gotta buy it now,
Or it’s him I’m gonna jive
I practice my smile
Just to keep it plausible
I’m the friendly fraud
Insincerely inscrutable
It’s the artful con
It’s the bad kind of beautiful
Call it what you want, I call it business as usual
Call it what you want, I call it business as usual
Call it what you want, I call it business as usual